I sit paralyzed in fear...wondering if today is the day...when it all comes crashing down. I fear failure so intensely that I do not even bother trying things that I know I cannot succeed at...I missed out on so much being smothered by fear...I spent so many years allowing the fear win, I am not sure I know how to win...
The closer I get to starting school, the more I wonder if I should quit before it starts...just stay home with the boys...simple, no risks... I am almost 37, and just starting a new career...a new chapter in my life...it is risky...scary...big... It is not just fear of failure, it's fear of disappointing others...them not believing that I could even do it in the first place, a fear of tomorrow, a fear of standing up, just to fall flat on my face.
I have spent my life being ruled by fear. But, for the first time in a long while, I am trying not to let the fear keep me from moving forward...choking the life out of me. I am trying to kick fear in the ass...show it who is boss. I want to wake up in the morning and push myself to be fearless...
4 comments:
You should kick fear in the ass! If you don't face the fear you may regret it later. When my husband and I left our jobs to start our own business I was scared to death, but now, I wouldn't change a thing!
Wow, I know the exact feelings your talking about. (I wish we lived closer and could go to coffee to discuss instead of me writing novels in your comments LOL). I recently realized I had a lot of unhealthy voices in my head and maybe that came from the way I was raised. I've started working on those issues and already feel freer! It's so awful how that self-doubt and not feeling good enough just WEIGH you down and create the fear. Good luck, Randi! I'm excited for you!! :)
I've always looked at it this way...you can be paralyzed by fear and do nothing or use it as a motivator to power through tough times...I have been on both sides, haven't we all?
Anyway, since there is no age to knowledge, I'm pretty sure you're gonna rock this one.
Girl you are YOUNG! My dad changed careers at 58... you can't limit your opportunities by believing it's too late - b/c there is no such thing! You will be fabulous - and FEARLESS!
XO
Pearls & Paws
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