Does this Wound Vac Match My Eyes

So, I had the second surgery on Friday, and they put a sponge in the wound in my stomach attached to tubing that comes out my side and attaches to a little machine that I have to carry around...what a freaking pain. TO ad insult to injury, the machine makes a sucking and gurgling noise...here comes the freak walking down the street!




Skirt-Old Navy
Tank Top-Old Navy
Sweater-Banana Republic
Boots-Old Navy
bag/wound vac-c/o highland Park Hospital

My camera is being temperamental, so I had to take the outfit pics with my iphone...not the greatest quality. I was not prepared for the temperatures to drop here, so I only have sandals here at my mom's house. I just picked up these boots at Old Navy last week, and I have been wearing them ever since..love them. I do love this nice fall weather we are having...I cannot wait until the swelling in my abdomen goes down so I can wear skinny jeans with boots, layered tops and sweaters....I dare to dream. Now that I am up and be active everyday, I am going to try to take outfit pics. Hopefully I can coax my camera out of its depression soon so I wont have to take pics with my iphone.

Alive and Kicking...

Hello all-
Yes, I am still here. It was been a while since I have posted, but things have been crazy. I finally installed wireless in my parents house, so now I can use my computer.
My stomach incision infection has gotten no better, so Friday I am having surgery to clean it out and have some sort of sponge put in....fun. Then in a few weeks when the infection is hopefully gone (fingers crossed), I will have another surgery to close the stomach back up.
I never thought I would crave normalcy, but boy do I. I miss the days of getting the kids ready in the morning for the long drive to Evanston...dropping Jack at school and going to the gym for a hard workout....even going to work. I sooo miss working out, never thought I would...I crave a great sweaty 30 minutes on the bike and 60 minutes of weight with my trainer...I miss you Sarah.
Not outfit pictures for a while. I am not sure where the cord for my camera is. Plus, I don't really think anyone would want to see pictures of me lately...I can only wear leggings since my stomach is swollen, and I am too weak to fully straighten my hair, so I look real pretty!
Fashion-wise I have started getting ready for fall. I cannot wait to wear boots, tight sweaters, blazers...I will be happy if the weather just got cold enough so I would stop sweating. I bought my first real fall purchase yesterday...brown brogues. I cannot wait to wear them with a pair of skinny jeans!! Fall weather cannot come soon enough.
I will keep you guys posted on the great stomach infection of 2010!!
oh....I love my new boobs!

Hello...I am complicated

Sorry I have been radio silent for a while, but things here in recovery land are complicated. First, I am spending most of my time at my mom's place and the wifi in her building is funky, so I have not been able to post. Second, I am having some post-surgery complications, that are messy and painful, noting like a gaping hole in one's abdomen to keep them from blogging. Third, by boys must have forgotten how to behave, because they have been monsters lately, thank god school starts next week. Finally, my grandmother is sick and all that goes along with that is just so upsetting.
On the plus side...there has to be one...I like the way my boobs are looking...still swollen, but smaller and perkier!!
Hope all of you are well and enjoying the start of fashion week. Hope to be up and posting more soon!!!

I'm Still Here....

Wow, it has already been a week since my surgery. With only a few minor complications, I came through with flying colors. I think the recovery and rehab are going to be the hardest. I will keep everyone updated on my progress back to the land of the fashionable me.
Thanks for all your get well wishes.

Last Rites...

Well today is the last outfit post I will do for a while.
Worn to Work Thursday, August 26





Skirt-Old Navy
Tank top-Martin & Osa
Cardigan-BR Outlet
Shoes-Target

So my surgery is tomorrow at 7:30 am and I am petrified. All the sudden I am worrying about my boys, the future...

Well hopefully the next time you hear from me I will have new small boobs and a flatter stomach. Everybody, thanks for your support, it is greatly appreciated. I should be back on my computer within a week. I will try to have my husband or friend update your guys after the surgery.

Trying Too Hard...

First, I want to say thank you for all your supportive comments on yesterdays post. Telling people has made me feel much more positive that I made the right decision. I am still pretty nervous about everything, but I guess that is to be expected.

Worn to Work Tuesday, August 24




My new babies...I bought them yesterday at my favorite shoe store, Lori's. I cannot seem to go in there with buying something. I love them!



Skirt-Chelsea and Theodore via Loehmanns
Tank-some brand at Loehmanns
Denim Jacket-Gap
Shoes-Mia via Lori's
Necklace-H&M

I am not very adept at walking in high heels, so I did trip a few times today...

Tied Up In Knots

Worn to Work Monday, August 23



skirt-Filter Nordstrom
Tank Top-Old Navy
Jacket-BR Outlet
Shoes-J Crew

This is how I feel today...



When I try to explain what is going on with me, my stomach knots up and I just run away. But, today I am going to try to talk about it.
Friday, I am having surgery, a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. What is that, you ask? Well, it is when they remove all your breast tissue and replace it with implants or fat. I have chosen to have my breasts reconstructed with the fat from my stomach. I guess I should start at the beginning. My mother had 2 boughts with breast cancer and I have the BRCA1 gene mutation that causes breast and ovarian cancer. This means I have a approximately 60% chance of getting breast cancer, 5 times more than the average person. So, I decided to have the mastectomy. A lot of factors went into this decision, but in the end I knew it was the right thing to do, my chance of getting breast cancer will go down to 1%.
Now that the surgery is on Friday, I am getting really nervous. I know it sounds vain, but one of my current worries is about the cosmetic outcome of the surgery. But, I amature fashion blogger, so how I feel and look in my clothes is important to me. The surgeons have reassured me that you wont even be able to tell that my chest is fake, with my clothes on, But, I am still having nightmares. My other main worry is the recovery. I will be in the hospital for 4 days and cannot lift anything over 10 pounds for 4-6 weeks. My mom and husband are going to help me through everything, but I just hate depending on other people.
Besides getting rid of the cancer, the surgery has to other big benefits. First, I will have smaller boobs!!! I am so excited about this. You know you boobs are too big when the plastic surgeon asks you your bra size, and when you tell him he gasps and says I do not make them that big. Second, instead of implants that are filling them with the fat from my stomach and giving me a tummy tuck!
I do feel better getting that off my chest...pun not intended.